When You Just Need To Figure Things Out

I click over and I stall. How does this even work again? What is my password? What is the process, again? I blink a few times, take a deep breath and dig into the depths to figure it all out. You see, it has been a while. A long while, in fact, since I’ve occupied this tiny space on the world wide web that I call a blog. Why? I’ve stalled because I’m just trying to figure things out.

These things I’m trying to figure out, well, they are bigger than how and where to click and type. They are more daunting than just the surface level if I allow myself to get beyond that first layer. These things scare me because at this point, I just don’t know how to put it into words. And that is a problem for this wordy gal who talks too much and too loud.

So to just get down to it, I’m flat out in the process of figuring out what is next and how to even navigate the road ahead. Have you been there? Please tell me you have! We can hold each other’s hands and exclaim, “I get it!! I’ve been in that weird space of the unknown.”  This is me saying that I just need to figure it out and I’m going to be ok with not even knowing what the “it” is. I’m confident that I’m not the only one in this awkward space. You too? Welcome…let’s be awkward together!

This is me, on a rainy day, with my hot pink raincoat. Anyone else feel this way?

This is me, on a rainy day, with my hot pink raincoat. Anyone else feel this way?

So just some updates for those who have allowed me to share my heart with you over the last however many years. (Thank you, by the way, for reading so faithfully and subscribing to this blog!)

~I spent the first quarter of 2015 living out a ministry dream of mine. We launched The Women’s Collective in my local community out of pure faith…or maybe it was out of pure ignorance. Ha! It was challenging, overwhelming, and flat out hard at times. But, to gather women from my community to collectively  RISE UP! and make Jesus famous was worth the sometimes blood, sweat, and tears. For every challenging moment, there were sweet songs of praise to our Lord. For every time I wanted to throw in the towel, there was the realization that women from all walks of life gathered in one room and broke barriers. For every sleepless night, there was the picture of my friend opening up His Word, memorizing the entirety of Psalm 145, and speaking that over a room full of women. She did this regardless of the fact that it is sometimes scary to be vulnerable in front of a room full of women.

I poured out so much I had not one more word to share. After those months of hard work, I circle back to the “what is next” and I just need to figure things out. The unknown threatens my daily clarity.

~ As I type this there is a sign in the yard, pointing toward a house for sale that we’ve loved for 10 years. We are digging up our roots here in North Carolina and moving back to Texas. Oh the timelines and the lack of clear answers! My timelines. My deadlines. My expectations. So much life up in the air. If I was ever forced to walk out what I “preach” I am forced to do that now. Trusting God with this very tangible life change honestly makes me question if I’ve got the chops. Can I really live out what I write about everyday?

Will you join me on my journey? One thing I know while I’m just trying to figure things out is that I’m not alone in my questions, my uncertainty, my underlying doubt…right? 

Over the next however long it takes, let’s figure things out together. I will be showing up to this space each week (On Wednesdays!)  to share what I’m learning. Your situation might not be the same as mine. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. But, really, I know that the underlying root of what drives us during these awkward times of figuring it out is common to all. Let’s uncover that root and allow the Holy Spirit to move in our midst.

I would love to hear from you! What is something you just need to figure out these days?

Leave a comment…let’s chat!


Three Ways To Stop The Comparison Game TODAY

We’ve all played the game. You know it and I know it, the comparison game is one that rears it’s ugliness and traps us even in our best moments. Somehow, someway this comparison game runs rampant among women. And, not just among women but between women as this game we play in our heads facilitates broken friendships, missed life callings, and all out sin. Yep, I said sin. I don’t like writing that anymore than I like reading that my seemingly innocuous thoughts and comparisons are considered by the Lord as flat out sin. This truth straight from the book of Galatians served as a holy kick in the pants to get over myself.

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, JEALOUSY, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. (Galatians 5:19-23 emphasis mine)

 For, this jealousy and envy that we allow to have it’s say in our minds serves no good purpose and steal the joy we find when we sit and live content right where God has us. 

Because I’ve played the comparison game and lost way too many times to count, I thought I would lay it all on the line and share some tools that I personally use to just STOP the game. These tools and weapons and “game chips” have been wielded during those time when the ugliness of comparison threatens my joy and I’ve found meaningful victory, true, God-given victory.

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Read the Three ways to top the game TODAY by clicking HERE!



Also, I’m really excited to share with you from my time with Jamie Ivey on her awesome podcast Happy Hour. Click HERE to listen as we talked about all kinds of fun things such as how to talk to kids about sex, date nights, my hair shampoo experience…random and fun. Thanks for having me Jamie! ***Be sure to enter in the giveaway of 3 copies of Just RISE UP!***

The LIST and such…

Happy New Year! How is it going so far? At my house we celebrated a fun, low key New Years Eve that included a local pinecone drop and tons of dessert way later than we would normally allow our little guy to eat that much sugar! Though I still have boxes to be stored full of Christmas decor, I’m moving full steam into the new year.

Before we get into The LIST, I wanted to remind you about the awesome class I’m involved in called Becoming: The Unfolding of You. It is free and we just started our first week! I’m in this first week and can’t wait for you to see all the thoughtful and artsy/creative things coming from the women involved. There are creative videos and inspiring videos where these lovely, beautiful and beautifully imperfect women (just like you and me!) share their love for Jesus and what He is teaching them about who we are in Christ.

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Click Here to get info on how and where to sign up. It is not too late!

Now on to this week’s LIST… This is something I like to do regularly to get to know connect with you. It is pure random-ness and just plain fun. Take a look at the questions below and leave a comment with your answers!

Here we go…

The List

~Name your biggest blessing from 2014.

Me: Yes. I know this is a question too big to answer in a few sentences. Thank goodness for that, right? God blesses us all in so many ways if we are willing to open our eyes to take them all in. Ok. Biggest…I need to say our family vacation to the beach. Nothing fancy. Just sweet memories lay in my heart from that time.

~What chore do you not love doing?

Me: If I’m being totally and completely and utterly honest, all of them. But, reality is that I can’t HATE chores because they are a necessity for me to conquer. The most unloved chore is putting away folded laundry. I don’t mind folding because I listen to podcasts or multitask while I’m folding but it is the putting away which puts me over the edge.

~When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time?

Me: I love opening up my sketchbook and playing with my paints.

~What did you do growing up that got you into the most trouble?

Me: Surprise surprise. My mouth got me in the most trouble. Let’s just say I have it coming to me when my son is a teenager. What goes around comes around. :)

~How can I pray for you?

I’m serious. Let me know. Let’s pray together!

Leave a comment with your list. Let’s chat!