When You Just Need To Figure Things Out

I click over and I stall. How does this even work again? What is my password? What is the process, again? I blink a few times, take a deep breath and dig into the depths to figure it all out. You see, it has been a while. A long while, in fact, since I’ve occupied this tiny space on the world wide web that I call a blog. Why? I’ve stalled because I’m just trying to figure things out.

These things I’m trying to figure out, well, they are bigger than how and where to click and type. They are more daunting than just the surface level if I allow myself to get beyond that first layer. These things scare me because at this point, I just don’t know how to put it into words. And that is a problem for this wordy gal who talks too much and too loud.

So to just get down to it, I’m flat out in the process of figuring out what is next and how to even navigate the road ahead. Have you been there? Please tell me you have! We can hold each other’s hands and exclaim, “I get it!! I’ve been in that weird space of the unknown.”  This is me saying that I just need to figure it out and I’m going to be ok with not even knowing what the “it” is. I’m confident that I’m not the only one in this awkward space. You too? Welcome…let’s be awkward together!

This is me, on a rainy day, with my hot pink raincoat. Anyone else feel this way?

This is me, on a rainy day, with my hot pink raincoat. Anyone else feel this way?

So just some updates for those who have allowed me to share my heart with you over the last however many years. (Thank you, by the way, for reading so faithfully and subscribing to this blog!)

~I spent the first quarter of 2015 living out a ministry dream of mine. We launched The Women’s Collective in my local community out of pure faith…or maybe it was out of pure ignorance. Ha! It was challenging, overwhelming, and flat out hard at times. But, to gather women from my community to collectively  RISE UP! and make Jesus famous was worth the sometimes blood, sweat, and tears. For every challenging moment, there were sweet songs of praise to our Lord. For every time I wanted to throw in the towel, there was the realization that women from all walks of life gathered in one room and broke barriers. For every sleepless night, there was the picture of my friend opening up His Word, memorizing the entirety of Psalm 145, and speaking that over a room full of women. She did this regardless of the fact that it is sometimes scary to be vulnerable in front of a room full of women.

I poured out so much I had not one more word to share. After those months of hard work, I circle back to the “what is next” and I just need to figure things out. The unknown threatens my daily clarity.

~ As I type this there is a sign in the yard, pointing toward a house for sale that we’ve loved for 10 years. We are digging up our roots here in North Carolina and moving back to Texas. Oh the timelines and the lack of clear answers! My timelines. My deadlines. My expectations. So much life up in the air. If I was ever forced to walk out what I “preach” I am forced to do that now. Trusting God with this very tangible life change honestly makes me question if I’ve got the chops. Can I really live out what I write about everyday?

Will you join me on my journey? One thing I know while I’m just trying to figure things out is that I’m not alone in my questions, my uncertainty, my underlying doubt…right? 

Over the next however long it takes, let’s figure things out together. I will be showing up to this space each week (On Wednesdays!)  to share what I’m learning. Your situation might not be the same as mine. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. But, really, I know that the underlying root of what drives us during these awkward times of figuring it out is common to all. Let’s uncover that root and allow the Holy Spirit to move in our midst.

I would love to hear from you! What is something you just need to figure out these days?

Leave a comment…let’s chat!



When You Just Need To Figure Things Out — 19 Comments

  1. Hi Sarah,
    Oh, how I have been there with life changing moves and the questions for what it means for family and ministry!
    Now I am in a different season with illness and an empty nest. But yet, with the constant change with illness and now watching my adult children make their way, I find myself facing the same questions, once again!
    Have you ever read Bonnie Gray’s book, Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul To Rest? I am finding it very helpful. Finding that rest in the messiness of life is so needed in order to live in His Abundant Love.
    Praying for you in this journey! And look forward to your Wednesday posts!

  2. I’m praying for you–I’m also selfish and super excited you are moving back to TX ;)
    I’ll gladly grab your hand and help you walk this road, and doing that,you will help trust God fully with what we’re walking and trusting Him for right now. God’s got this and going to do something amazing with your move. It will blow everyone away!!

  3. Oh girl, I understand you so well right now! This is such a season of waiting and wandering in my life. I think I’ve mentioned in the past that my momma went home to Jesus just a few months ago, well I still have no idea what to do now. I’m only 25 years old, but I had completely built my life around what she needed and that became who I was…so now that she’s gone so is part of me. I’m having to figure out where to live, do I finish my degree, do I follow my dreams that I thought would never be reality, what the heck are my dreams now anyway?!
    I have to live my waiting quietly on the Lord, because otherwise I feel Ike I’m fighting against him while trying to push him at the same time. It’s a process for sure! But hey, hurrah for Texas! :)

    • Michelle, oh friend! I do remember that you mentioned your momma passing. I have no other words to say but that my heart hurts for you. Thank you for sharing this…truly. You are doing all the right things, though. Those questions you are asking, you are asking them of the right Person–God! He can handle our questions, doubts, rants, hurt hearts. I know God’s kind, gentle hand will guide you and hold your sweet heart during the process. Hugs!!!

  4. Hi Sarah!

    This post resonated so much with me! I can relate a lot to your current feeling of awkward unknownness! It isn’t a really fun feeling, but this was a good reminder to trust in the Lord, and also to be open to the many opportunities and possibilities that can come our way and that we also have to do our part and search out. It’s a balance.

    It is nice to know we aren’t alone in the way we can feel sometimes, so thanks for sharing this. I’m sure there are many great things for your future, however vague things may seem now. Also, sometimes letting go, not trying to overthink things or plan every little detail, can actually help to head in the right direction. I’ve found that when I *least* try to micromanage, is when my goals, plans, thoughts etc. begin to unfold more clearly in my mind and slowly, but surely, lead me to whatever I’m supposed to be doing. I also hope your move goes smooth, I absolutely love NC, and would definitely consider moving there one day; I’m sure you will plant and harvest great seeds in Texas once more. =)
    Will keep you in my prayers, and look forward to reading about where the Lord takes you.

  5. Oh Sarah, this post resonates with me so much. Just yesterday I made the decision to discontinue my blog after about a 9 month hiatus from writing on it. The desire and the dream are still there, but I’m sensing God is taking me in a new direction with my ministry, and until I know more about that new direction I feel it best to take a break. It’s strange because at first I felt like a writing failure. But now, I’m excited to see what new path I’ll be taking. I’m going to miss you being close by but I’m excited for you and your new journey!

    • Amanda, you are such a sweet encourager. Thank you. Let me say, it is ok to put dreams on hold if you feel that is what God is telling you to do. HE is the smartest and wisest and knows the bigger picture, right? The unknown is weird, though. I’m glad that you are trusting Him and jumping on for the ride, wherever it takes you!

  6. I’m trying to figure things out too. I thought recovering from surgery would be easier but there’s been a lot of questions & unknowns. At times I just feel overwhelmed kindof like the waiting of your house to sell. I remember waiting for the house in ny to sell, hoping every phone call was for a showing & then an offer. It’s a trying space to be in

  7. Thank you for this Sarah! I’m glad I’m not the only one figuring things out and making life changing decisions. I’m moving out of state next month for the first time (I’m 23) and I’m really excited about it, but at the same time I’m a little terrified because I can’t see beyond all the planning and timelines as you mentioned, and also seeking for a job. But I know God is in control of all things, even those things that we think are too small for Him to care about.

  8. I feel a bit like this at the moment. Have been in a time of waiting and as things are starting to move into the unknown, it feels a bit scary. Was listening the the Hillsongs song Ocean’s today and these lyrics struck me.
    “Your Grace abounds in deepest water, your sovereign hand will be my guide,
    Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, you’ve never failed, and you won’t start now”

    Will be praying for you xx

  9. I am graduating soon and I am being bombarded with career opportunities. It is a true blessing because when I graduated from undergrad I had no opportunities and was unemployed and underemployed for a year and a half. I grateful for God’s blessings, but like you I am trying to figure things out and will be moving pretty soon. I hope to learn how to deal with these changes from your story.

  10. Hi Sarah,
    I am SO with you! What’s next indeed! My stomach is in knots and my mind is racing on this crazy roller coaster life. Tears come easily as I prepare to graduate my sweet youngest girl from our homeschool and send her eight hours away… And the empty nest will be complete. Ever since I launched my first son, I have poured myself back into an art career that I’m not sure I can do… Oh the doubts and questioning of God’s plans. Sometimes I wish He would just spell it out clearly for me: insert tab a into slot b …pre-assembled life, no batteries necessary.
    Anyway, all this to say, consider your hand held and your sweet self prayed for.

  11. Sarah,

    I feel ya. I really do. I am at that point where I think I am exerting too much, striving too much, thinking too much “to figure it out”… and even in all the sweat of that, I find myself wordless too. I have to push to the deeper parts to squeeze out something. I am praying for you as you venture out into a new literal and spiritual environment.

  12. For some reason (in my head) you already moved to Texas lol but i digress

    It’s wonderful that I stopped by here today because I’m in exactly the same space right now. Writing my book was my major project for years. Now that it’s done and doing well (i’m headed to the post office to ship books right after this), i’m feeling a strong pull to watch and wait (not my thing at all).

    Unlike you though, i’m not brave enough to freely share this information on my blog. So kudos to you! :)

  13. Pingback: Oh The Words We Use - LIVE IT OUT! -- Sarah Francis Martin

  14. Help! I have lived in the same town my whole life. My husband is taking a job in a different state. All my family is here. We are moving away and I am stuck between excitement and then sobbing . This is really scary to me.

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