This is part one of a series of ideas I want to share from my PAST experience. I’m a girlfriend who wants to share so that you, my friends, might learn from me rather than deal with the heartache yourself. {disclaimer: I haven’t dated in years. In His beautiful mercy, God brought an amazing man into my life to be my husband. But…BUT…it wasn’t until after I dealt with the woes written below that I was able to see that there are great, godly men out there. So hold tight, sister…}

Most of us have seen the recent movie, He’s Just Not That Into You. I reluctantly rented this chick flick as I was not too crazy to be reminded of the many guys I dated in the past who well…were just not that into me. You know the situation. You meet a guy while out with your friends and you both connect over your common obsession of the television show, 24. I mean, who wouldn’t want to connect with a guy who not only resembles Jack Bauer, but also has that low-toned, mysterious growly voice like Jack, too. You give him your number and part ways hopeful that this guy will be THE ONE.

And you wait. And wait. And wait.

Oh the dating games women play.

I most identified with Gigi from He’s Just Not That Into You. There is a scene where Gigi analyzes a recent conversation she had with a guy she met the Friday night before. Her co-worker supports her by paying attention to every minute detail of every word the guy said before the night was over. Then, they both decide to skip the rule of waiting for the guy to call her. Gigi sets out to construct a perfect “follow up” phone call. The scene is quite comical as Gigi, armed with her script, picks up the phone with a nervous grin on her face only to find the call went straight to voicemail. She quickly improvises (she did not write a script for a voicemail call) and flubbs up the whole thing. After watching this scene, I was tempted to pause the movie and go raid the fridge for some comfort food consisting of an entire quart of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. You see, I totally saw myself in Gigi and no amount of ice cream could erase the many moments of angst I experienced while dating in the past.

Later on in the movie Gigi tells her girlfriend, “We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.”

Games. Games. Games. They drive us crazy.

Now, before this turns into a man bashing session, let me just say that women are just as guilty of this insanity. You can’t tell me that you have never played “hard to get” or flirted with a guy you weren’t interested in just for the fun and attention. Yes, ladies, we too have perpetuated this standard of dating. But, I hope you will allow me to make a statement as a girl who has been there, done that, and got the not so cute t-shirt. Life is too short to get caught up in the anxiety of “will he call?” or “does he really love me?” There are other things we can do with our time rather than obsessively checking our cell phone to make sure we didn’t miss THE CALL. Trust me, years ago I wasted countless hours of my life in this very scenario. Can I share a few pointers that I learned along the way?

**If he really likes you, he will pursue you.

**If he really likes you, he will be interested in what you like and want to get to know you.

**If he really likes you he will RESPECT you.

Here is the big one….

**If he plays games…It is time to move on.

I know that sounds harsh but it is the truth, my sweet sister. Hold out for the guy who treats you like the princess you are. This may mean that you are with out a date on Saturday night for a while. But, here is a truth that I want you to cling to when you feel depressed about your love life: The King is enthralled with your beauty! Psalm 45:11 NIV

The King, Jesus, pursues you.

The King, Jesus, loves you with a fiery passion.

The King, Jesus, will not play games or toy with your heart.

God gives us a template of what our dating and future married life should look like. He doesn’t want you to be riddled with anxiety. He hurts when your heart is trampled on. And, He will encourage you not to settle for anything less than a man who respects and cares for you.

He-Jesus- is just that into you.

So lets encourage each other. If you’re a single sister, share your thoughts. If you’re not a single sister, share some “words of wisdom.”

***My girlfriend Angie wrote a post on this very same movie. Check it out.