My phone tweeped all day long with sweet birthday messages from “friends” on Facebook. You know, those generic “happy birthdays” and “hope your day is great” type of wall posts that make you feel ever so popular. Because I’m a freak about making birthdays awesome, including my own, these tweeps on my smart phone set me on cloud nine the entire day.
Source: Pinterest
I mentally checked off every friend who texted well wishes and took note of every friend who neglected me on my big day. A happy heart turned into one of grumbling and bitterness. The unattainably high bar I set for my friends crashed down and threaten to ruin the very day I wait for all year long.
High maintenance described me to a tee.
High-Maintenance:
~ A friend who expects more than she could ever fulfill herself.
~A friend who balks at a favor never returned.
~A friend who thrives on what she desires from others rather than look to Jesus to meet the deepest, darkest needs of her heart.
This tiresome way of relating placed me in a void where though I adore my friends, there was no way they would live up to my high-maintenance standards. Over time I realized these expectations placed on my girlfriends stressed me out more than necessary and added pressure to the relationship. I determined to re-think these standards and live as a low-maintenance friend instead.
Low-Maintenance:
~ A friend who seeks to love and cherish her girlfriends without adding any unnecessary pressure or expectations to the relationship.
~ A friend is ready and willing to get in the trenches of life with her girlfriends –– she is full of encouragement and advice.
~ A friend who allows space if needed to give her girlfriend room to breath.
~ A friend who loves Jesus first and foremost, who allows Him to fulfill her needs rather than depend on her girlfriends to pour into her heart.
I love how Matthew 22:37 encourages us to live life with a pure focus on loving God first with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. This gives me a new measuring stick for which I live out my friendships as well –– placing my standards and need for love and acceptance on Jesus first, not my friends. This naturally sets me up to be a low-maintenance friend. A friend that just enjoys hanging out with her girlfriends, no strings attached, no pressure, no stress.
So what do you think? What is one way you can be a low-maintenance friend TODAY?
Leave a comment. Let’s chat…
Sarah, this is great! I’m going to share this on my FB page and with the teen girls I mentor. This is a lesson girls of all ages need to be mindful of.
Thanks :)
Erin
Thank you for sharing, Erin!
Oh how I long to be that low maintenance friend! I want to be more gracious to my friends during times of struggle and encourage them. I have seen how high maintenance I am over the last couple of months when I wasn’t able to reach out like I had before to my friends due to time constraints with my new job. Thankfully I have wonderful friends who have been there but given me time to breathe and find my way through this season of change. Sarah, this blog post is a great reminder for me! Thank you for posting!
Becky! I’m sure your friends understand that life has been crazy for you lately!
Cool thanks for sharing Sarah ! I actually think I’ve been a High-maintenance friend with my TX friends since they left! Good remember to be a low -maintenance friend right there!:)Thank you!
*Good to remember
For me today it would be not texting them or “wanting” them I can get clingy sometimes and to just go a day and have the Lord fill me up and to rely on him!!
Love this, Meg!
Especially since I have had apot if stress in my life lately I have been going to a specific friend as shady said anything to me but I think not would be good to back off…
Happy belated birthday, Sarah!
One way I can be a low-maintenance friend today is to offer and receive encouragement and support.
Hello, I;m so happy to have found your blog, I’m a mid-twenties girl who most of the time feels left out of the community of other blogs because I’m not “old’ enough for the engagedwomen/wifes/mothers or I’m not “young” enough for the teen/preteen/highschool problems blogs.
So glad you found us! It is my intent that YOU have a place here on the world wide web where you can feel included and that your life season is relevant. Thank you for the sweet comment!
Maria,Jody just told me about your accident. I am seinndg so many thoughts and good vibes your way. All the pictures of you are so gorgeous (especially the ones from camp)! I just moved to Portland and hopefully I will be able to make it up to Seattle and visit you. I am thrilled to hear that you are recovering so quickly and I know you’re a brave strong girl. I’m thinking of you.Kacie