**Repost from January 2011***
My blood boiled while I folded the laundry. The poor old, ratty college t-shirt I folded, refolded and smacked around took the brunt of my anger. At first I let the scenario that caused this outrage to swirl around my brain. Then a dialogue in my mind regarding every word said only fueled the steam that spewed out of my ears. Remember the old cartoons where the man was so mad steam came out of his ears and fire out of his eyes? If you haven’t gotten the picture yet…that was me.
Boy did I lay it on Him.
Though this heavenly conversation didn’t solve the present situation outright, it sure felt good to vent to God. To lay out in front of the King the raw feelings I wouldn’t share with anyone else says to Him:
Lord, You know I am flawed and messed up. I know this ugly heart of mine does not repel me away from Your holy presence. I come to You with these emotions as a symbol of my trust. Take them, do whatever You want with them. Validate these feelings and then help me turn them around to redeem the situation.
If we feel that our ugly emotions — anger, jealousy, pride — aren’t fit to bring before our Lord, then our image of God is inaccurate.
He can handle our emotions…even the ugly ones. Our God is not some meepsy, frail “church-lady” (remember Saturday Night Live?) that would gasp or blush at the honesty in spilling our guts about how we truly feel. He won’t turn away and say, “Now we don’t talk like that here.”
The sheer fact that we bring it ALL before the throne of the King is an act of trust and God honors that. Period.
Then, as we dialogue with the King, He works on our heart. He cleans off the ugly blemishes of those not-so-pretty emotions and guides us in how to turn around the situation which caused the emotion in the first place.
The LORD, the very King of Kings who formed every neuron in the brain that these emotions swirl around, can handle your anger.
The LORD, the very King of Kings who counts every pump of blood flowing through your heart, can handle your heartbreak and the feelings that come along with it.
He won’t blush.
He won’t gasp and turn away in embarrassment.
He WILL take you in His arms and listen. Then He will heal and transform your emotions.
I would love for you to talk to me about how you feel about taking even the ugly stuff to God. Are you hesitant for fear He will turn you away? Do you trust Him enough have a real, honest conversation about it?
Let’s chat…leave me a comment. :)
I was raised in a very “religious” religion that focused a lot on showing “respect” to our Lord (which we should, of course, do), but the emphasis was never on the active, love relationship He really wants to have with us. One night in college, I was talking to a Christian friend about how I had a difficult time praying any time I had done something I thought was “wrong” in His eyes… for example, if I had an alcoholic drink, I never wanted to pray the next day because I felt so horrible AND thought he felt horribly about me. After a few minutes, my sweet, sweet friend simply said, “Brittany, God always hears your prayers because He always wants to hear them.” Such a simple statement, but it really changed my prayer life. I am so grateful to serve a God that loves us so much that we can go to Him with ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! His grace is always sufficient and His love is completely overwhelming (in a perfect, wonderful, beautiful kind of way!). “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest!” :)
PS… I didn’t write this comment to take a stand one way or another on drinking alcohol, just to share a little about how I came to better understand and fall in love with my Savior, who wants to hear from me no matter what! :)
I too feel this way!! It’s like I want to hide from God! Then I think, God sees me at my worst and Scripture safety’s he loves us, unconditionally…..Thank you for sharing!!
Brittany!
Totally got what you were saying from the get go. So glad you chimed in.
Shannon-
Dialogue with God has always been a struggle for me. When I am mad, sad, angry, happy….I just….can’t seem to find the way to express how I feel to God (and others…i struggle with expressing emotions to others as well). How do I get myself away from this so that I can truly have the FULL relationship with God, dialogue and all?
Thanks!
Thank you for this. Just last night I got really angry over something really stupid (because it wasn’t actually the THING I was angry about, it was everything else that was stirring in me…) and then after marching away from my family, I let all my anger out to God. The problem is that after I let Him have it, I usually feel bad about everything – about being angry towards my family and God. Thank you for reminding me that God knows exactly how this crazy little brain (and mouth) of mine work! and that it is when I let Him have all my emotions, and then come back and apologize for reacting to my emotions of the moment, that He comes right back around and can do a work in me that wouldn’t have happened otherwise :)
I love you!!!!!! ((HUGS))
I find it interesting that you mention this topic. I was just speaking to one of the girls in my book study about keeping it real with God when you pray. There is no need to sugarcoat it. The bible says we need to confess with our mouths. We gotta get real with God.
Yep…no need to sugar coat things…might as well get to the point, right? :)
Yes!! I have such a hard time with this!!! I would rather go to my friends for prayer and support than God although I have a hard time expressing my feelings period for fear of Rejection I am afraid of what my friends are going to say and I have such a hard time going to God for fear if rejection as well my dad left our family and my stepdad abused me and my cousin sexually abused me.
Meg, you just have to remember that God is never going to reject you for anything you are feeling, so long as you are going to him sincere in heart and wanting to find resolve through Him. That is what is so great about our God.
It should be a sin how many times that I go to God with all of the negativity, but praise God, it is not. The only way I can hope to figure it all out and get through it is by Him. For me it is just opposite, I feel ashamed to open myself to others for fear of being criticized, but with God it’s so easy. But sometimes I picture God throwing His hands up in the air and sighing when He hears another one of my prayers that lay it out to Him. I wonder if He wonders, “Is she EVER going to get it?!”. :)
I’m trying to figure out how to let people into the broken pieces of my life. Letting people in is hard. Growing up in my family we didn’t talk about how we felt, ever. Now at 25 I’m learning for the first time how to tell people how I’m feeling. Now, before being able to tell people how I’m feeling I need to figure out what it is that I am feeling! Putting names to emotions is hard. Figuring out why I’m feeling the way I am is hard. I am starting to feel more led to talk to God about what’s going on than the people around me, why?! People judge. People leave. People are not perfect. God is.
BUT… I need community and I need people. I am beginning to build a “team” of people around me and starting to let them into more of who I am. I’m beginning to see that I can just sit in this with God, be mad that I’m feeling the way I am and then figure out why alongside of Him… and maybe I can do the same with my “team.” I started the team idea only a few weeks ago and it’s already becoming something good.
God hasn’t turned me away yet and each day I reveal a little bit more of me, the beautiful and the broken (As if he doesn’t already know :) )
Amy! I LOVE your team idea. It is really good to have a good group of people to surround you. But, remember what you said…people are not perfect…God is. I’m SO glad that you recognize this. Can’t wait to see how the Lord moves in your life, Amy. Hugs!
Great artile and it came right on time! I had an incidient at church with someone with really hurt me. She lied on me and brought down my character as a person. I’m really upset by this situation. I have been thinking some really negative and bad things. I know, I can go to God and express how I feel to move forward.