***I’m thrilled to introduce you to my friend Shari Johnston. Shari is one of those women ready and willing to doll out encouragement when others need it most. I love Shari’s message below and her heart behind it. I think the topic of hospitality is often overlooked by those who feel like they don’t have the perfect house, the perfect set up, the perfect recipe. Whether you are married with a housefull of beautiful furniture or single with a small and quaint apartment, hospitality is a word for YOU. Check out Shari’s thoughts below…

Where does the Gift of Hospitality start?

When I think upon the word hospitality, I usually envision this Norman Rockwell-Martha Stewart moment. Everyone comes in feeling incredibly loved. The atmosphere is beautiful, conversation flowing, everyone is having a great time. The food we’ve prepared has not been stressful. It presents amazingly and tastes wonderful. I wish that this were true 100% of the time. URCH! SKREECHING HALT!! Let’s face it- we get upset because as we prepare, it is not turning out how we envisioned the event to be. I’d like to share a story. It is not my most glorious moment; in fact it is far from glorious. I am sharing this because I hope that from my misstep the Lord can use this to change me and maybe even open your eyes to how NOT to act, rather react. Here’s my story:

It’s February and my grandma’s birthday. Mom and I decided that we really wanted to have a nice family dinner for her- my aunt, cousins, and great grandkids. I’m to make the cake, mom’s working on dinner. I plan on being a little sassy and making grandma one giant cupcake rather than little ones. My good friend came over and we made a cupcake paper for it to sit in. Everything was going great until I went to frost the cake. German Chocolate cake is NOT the cake to use. I love this cake. It’s pretty. It’s fun. It’s nostalgic for me, BUT this one was not forgiving. The frosting was too heavy, the top was sliding, and it wasn’t presenting well. I was frustrated. Why am I getting upset over a cake?! Rather than become even more frustrated at a cake, I walked away. My actions of leaving ended up hurting and offending someone. Again over a cake! I wanted the day to be perfect for my grandma and really who’s going to notice that the top slid slightly. I’m the only one that will notice. I was taught to pick my battles, so why do I battle with a cake? The day ended up being glorious and grandma loved her cake. And guess what?! She never even knew about the minor mistakes I stressed over.

This story is such a teaching lesson for me and my hope is for you too. When we are in the practice of hospitality it must begin by first being hospitable to ourselves. If we extend grace to ourselves over our so called “mistakes”, stressors, or imperfections, and we don’t allow them to affect us; we are then able to have those we are serving be our primary focus. If we focus on ourselves, we don’t allow God to use us to serve others. Instead we prevent God’s work to shine because we have turned to an inward self-focus rather than an out-ward God focus.

As I’m writing this, several verses really touched me. Mark 10:45, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” This verse demonstrates to me what our focus should be- on others, not ourselves. Christ was an example of servitude. He washed his disciples’ feet, He fed hungry people, and He healed the sick. His servitude was to bring glory to our King. His servitude was humble and not self-seeking.

Mark 12:30-31 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” This verse says to love ourselves. When we are so critical of our actions, not extending grace we are not expressing love. Love is NOT conditional. It is Unconditional. If we do not love ourselves, how can we expect to love our guests? How can we expect to love those we serve? How can we even begin to further love our King? Our bodies are living sacrifices to our King (Romans 12:1-2) and they are the temple in which the Spirit lives (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We are not honoring our King by unjustly loving ourselves and having a practice of forgiveness and grace.

1 John 4:10-1, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” It all comes together. By extending grace to ourselves when things aren’t the Martha Stewart moment we wanted, we are able to truly love! We are able to place the focus onward and upward on our King! Hospitality begins with us. It begins with being able to release the small stuff, to forgive our mistakes, to be open to what God will do through us. If we hold on tight to our fear and anxiety how can we begin to be used by Him?

I’m sure you must remember my very embarrassing story from the beginning of this post. I’d like to share how far I’ve come from this moment. Since the “episode” I have had friends and family over. One occasion is very poignant for me. My sweet friend Lindsey came over for brunch. We have wanted to see each other for a few weeks now. I had some new recipes I wanted to try, which can always be stressful! I decided to try one of the recipes and keep everything else simple. I desired for this to be about Lindsey, to allow her to feel loved and special. There was no stress. I had a game plan and my key thought was on our King and serving Lindsey. We had an amazing time- great food, great fellowship, and most of all I let go, let God, and loved! Behaviors only change with small steps. Know that anything is possible when you seek our King and commit your plans to Him.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans.  {Proverbs 16:3}

A bit more about Shari:

Hi ladies! I’m Shari. I’m a Jesus lovin country girl, born and raised in Idaho. I enjoy studying God’s Word, being with family and friends, creating yummy goodness in my kitchen, and livin country. I’m a huge fan if country music, collect country/cowboy memorabilia, and adding to my cowboy boot collection. I work as an athletic trainer in a physical therapy clinic and volunteer with a professional rodeo sports medicine team. And for extra fun I blog about my cooking adventures at www.bootsandbiscuits.com 

***What are your thoughts about allowing yourself some grace and not stressing about perfection when it comes to hospitality? 

Leave a comment…let’s chat!