I’m super excited to bring in my friend Ruth Rutherford. You all might already be familiar with Ruth from her awesome blog, I Kissed My Date Goodnight.
I met Ruth this past summer at a conference and we instantly connected. As we were talking about life as a 30-something, I instantly knew I needed to have Ruth come on over to LIVE IT OUT! and share her story…or part of it. Ruth was so gracious to take sometime to answer some questions about the topic we covered in Stress Point: Out On Your Own. Take a look at what Ruth has to share.
~Ruth, can you give us some background on your personal story in how you moved “out on your own?”
I was born and raised in New Jersey, where I also attended college. The day after graduation, I packed up my car and drove to Music City, U.S.A. (that’s Nashville!) where I settled for five years. After that came a short stint in Austin, Texas, and now over two years in Washington, D.C. So, I’ve been living on my own for quite a while. My parents encouraged it from day one. They’ve never been the types to think living at home until marriage is the “only way” or the “Christian way.” I always know I have a home there if I want it, but they encourage my independence. After all, my dad left Argentina at 16 years old and came — by himself — to America. Daring, if you ask me!
~What was your biggest struggle or fear? How did you overcome it?
A couple years ago I was laid off from a job, and that was a tough time. As a single person, you bear all the financial burden. I can’t just depend on a husband to pay the bills until I find another job. I ended up shacking up at my parents’ house for a while until a job came through. It was humbling. They were generous and loving, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing. But I think the lesson learned is that just because we’re single doesn’t mean we don’t have a support system. It’s important to reach out to family, friends, and church communities in times of need. That’s the Church in action!
~The challenging economy these days makes it difficult for many young adults to launch out from under the wing of their parents. Do you have any tips for my readers in how to overcome the financial stress of moving out on your own?
The economy is rough, that’s for sure. I know so many who are unemployed right now or struggling to make ends meet. My main advice is to be wise AND adventurous. Be wise: Don’t rely on credit cards, save up for emergencies, don’t borrow for things you don’t need, work hard, and pray. (Can you tell I like Dave Ramsey?) But… be adventurous, too!: Move out, get a cheap apartment, get roommates to split the rent, live without cable TV for a while, learn how to cook cheap, delicious meals, and PRAY!. You can do it! Heck, I had FOUR roommates and TWO jobs when I first moved to Nashville! Focus on the stuff that living on your own offers — independence, freedom, fun. The other things will work out over time. God is faithful like that.
More about my friend Ruth:
Ruth Rutherford studied Journalism at Rutgers University and has spent over a decade writing and ghostwriting for various authors, publishers, and publications. She currently works as a writer and editor for a large government consulting firm in Washington, D.C., and continues to blog about her dating adventures at ikissedmydategoodnight.com. She’s passionate about facilitating a healthy, realistic conversation about Christian dating, and helping singles of all ages realize the amazing adventures we’re called to lead — with or without a ring.
Ok…so…wasn’t that awesome advice?! Would love for you to share your thoughts about the topic of Moving Out On Your Own.
Leave a comment…let’s chat!
I will agree that living on your own is difficult. I have been living on my own since I was 19. I did have much choice. When I moved out I was attending a 2yr college and working full time. The only thing running through my mind at the time was being as far away from my family as possible and survival. Lets just say things at home were not great (at all). I didn’t have much of a social life during those two years. I began to notice that my time at church was beginning to fade. I was barely getting by. Then my 2yrs were up and I needed to decide whether I wanted to further my education. So at the time I was living with a lady in her basement paying rent. She had encouraged me to go off to a 4yr college and experience the college life. So to make the long story short. I went off to a 4yr college. Best 4yrs ever!!! I am now 25 and I enjoy living on my own. At times it is hard. But The Lord is faithful in everything he does (want to know more just email me. I would love to share what lead me to be on my own)
Cynthia, I love how you just out right declared that the Lord is faithful. HE TOTALLY is and I know that He is doing big things in your life, friend. Thank you for sharing.
Such Good advice… I am out on my own and have been since i was 18.. I really like the advie she gave on cheap cooking, no credit cards and pray! I just finsihed taking a Dave Ramsey class and even though i have 2 jobs the hours arent enough and are in consistant so this defiently was a great remeinder! Thanks Ruth!
Yes. Dave Ramsey is awesome. I highly recommend.
I second cheap cooking and third Dave Ramsey. His financial advice has made a huge difference in my life.
I had the pleasure of meeting Ruth when I volunteered at the ReThink Conference here in San Diego. She ROCKS!! Thanks for the interview, Sarah :)
Great to see you on here, Renee! Our circle is growing! ;)
Wow, I admire your courage Ruth. I’m not out on my own yet. My health issues have kept me living with my mom. But she is an awesome support system and so encouraging. While it’s hard sometimes being “behind” my peers, God has showed me that I’m where I’m supposed to right now. And that’s enough for me. :)
Debra, I’m so glad you shared. I hope that this might be some good advice to file away until God leads you out on your own. I’m also really glad that you have such a supportive family! Praise Jesus!
Oh gosh,Debra,,that’s me! My health keeps me with my prents right now. It’s definitely not wha I would’ve chose and has a been a bit of a struggle as of late. I’ve been praying for guidance and peace in that situation
Debra and Tanya, good on you both for tapping into the built in community that you have in your lives. Like I said, just because we’re single doesn’t mean we’re alone. You are blessed to have family to help care for you! I know I leaned on my family when I was unemployed. It’s a beautiful thing! Here’s hoping you might experience living on your own one day… and if not, perhaps living with your future spouse. ;) (Which sounds fun, too!)
Sarah, THANKS AGAIN for posting this conversation. Had a great time chatting with you! Stress Point has really good guidance for so many of us. Thanks for writing it!