The other day I posted this on Facebook:
I’ve come to a realization. Too many things stress me out. I say that too much in my life these days…that activity (a. b. c.) makes me nervous…that person (x.y.z) stresses me out. I can’t handle the pressure of… Whoa…Hmmm…gonna pray over this.
Even writing this in public and hitting “post” unnerved me as I have prided myself forever that I’m a “strong woman,” not much phases me and I handle drama and stress with balance and class. This has not been the case over let’s say, six months.
I feel raw.
I feel fragile.
I feel like I have a burn wound that must sit uncovered and RAW so as to best heal. (Is that analogy even medically correct? Who knows? You get my point, right?)
As I evaluated the confession I made yesterday on Facebook, I prayed and tried to get to the bottom of what is going on. Why I have this raw, fragile space in my heart that effects so many areas of my life.
Have you ever felt raw?
Have you ever felt fragile?
Have you ever felt that your heart is so tender that even the slightest twist and turn in life throws you off balance? So tender that your heart feels like a precious piece of china to be handled with utmost care?
There could be many reasons for this raw, fragile state we are in. I’m inclined to blame hormones (really!) but I’ve been there, done that and this is not the same. If I’m totally honest with myself (I have no trouble spilling my guts with you, but getting honest–really honest–with myself is tough) I’m fragile because this past season of writing and meeting my manuscript deadline did a number on me like no other. It was emotional. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I feel exposed. I feel raw.
Have you taken time to pray through your fragile, raw state?
Let’s not let this season of RAW pass by in vain. What is it that God can teach us? What does He have for us as we live in the tenderness of heart?
Are we open to living in the raw with the knowledge that in the pain, in the fragile state is something to be uncovered…exposed?
I’m still waiting on God to show me exactly what I need to learn. But, I’m going to embrace it…whatever it is…good or bad. Part of me is afraid of what this state of exposure will, in fact, expose in which Jesus can best refine.
Fragile Heart-Photo Credit: Tori King
You can bet I will report back soon on this, but in the meantime I would love to know your thoughts…
Leave a comment…let’s chat!
Oh boy did this ever hit home. My first novel came out in September and I have never felt so raw and exposed in my life. And with that is the main feeling that God is whispering something very important to me if only I could write all of the other noises in my life and listen. Thank you for your transparency. Is so good to hear other believers are in the same boat!
Quiet, not write. Goodness. Don’t phone comment without proofing first!
<3 (((Sarah))) maybe that's why the book isn't coming out to October so you can fill up and nourish the rawness.
I know how you feel, I often feel RAW…But I also struggle with my heart feeling NUMB. Anyone else struggle with that? Any help? Thanks!
Chelsea, so glad you brought this up. Very interesting “flip side” to the coin…raw vs. numb. I’m going to think more about this and will comment more on it asap. Hugs!
Thanks! I would appreciate any help you could be! :)
Hey friend! Wanted to let you know I haven’t forgotten about your question…wanted to really be intentional and think and pray over this VERY good topic/question. Will post it in my next blog soon. Hugs!
Thanks! Can’t wait! :)
Ok friend…I finally was able to post something. Geez…it took me FOREVER. Was having computer, blog, server drama. All good now. Hugs!
This has been so true for me lately. At the very moment I should be proud of the accomplishments God has blessed me with and how beautifully things should be going, there are people who are not happy about it and make me feel like they’re against me. On top of that it feels like so many areas of my life wants more and more of me, pulling me in every direction that I find myself trying to get my health in order because of it. I try not to think about the negative things people have been doing and saying and keep my mind focused on God. I’ve been praying and reading encouraging devotionals and just reminding myself that this too shall pass. Everything happens for a reason even if it’s just to make us stronger.
Rebecca, so sorry friend that you are having a rough, raw time. You have the perfect attitude: keeping your mind focused on God! Hugs!
Totally with you on this Sarah! The past few months have been raw for me because I have had so many areas of my life put into question by the people who are and in some cases were the closest to me! I have battled, I have let myself get so low to the point where I just absolutely had to surrender my heart in all its rawness to God. I realised that I do not do this enough, i.e. – everyday like I really ought and NEED to! I let Him speak into my heart through some beautiful, loving friends and His word…and have chosen to believe that even through all the mess, all the rawness and all the confusion…that He loves me and He is for me!
Excited for your book! :D
love, lou xx
Hi Sarah,
Thank you for sharing how you are feeling, I really needed to find this today.
After going through a year wrought with heart ache, anger, confusion and loss, I am finding myself in a season of feeling completely raw. I, too, am asking myself and asking God, “what is IT?” and “WHY am I STILL feeling this way?” I find it frustrating, at times, because I feel like I should be past this by now. I have heard it, I have read about it – God’s timing. Now I really am learning to trust in His timing and trust Him with my vulnerability. Your post is encouraging me to continue to press in with prayer and to wait, patiently. I can’t say this enough – thank you, so much.
Shannon
I’m so sorry you are going through a rough year, Shannon. But, I really believe that if you stay put at the foot of the throne of Jesus, there is something He will teach you through the raw. Hugs!
I do consider all of the ideas you have offered for your post. They’re really convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too brief for beginners. May just you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.|
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