***Reposted from 2011. As they say in the restaurant/waitress biz “I’m in the weeds” the next few weeks. Hope you like this blast from the past. Can’t wait to read your comments. Even though I wrote this almost two years ago…I totally need to practice what I preach! ha!****
I have a strong personality. Some have described me as demonstrative. Others domineering. As a child my parents described me as precocious. The other day, a customer of mine commented that my mouth never stops moving! One thing is for sure, I have a strong personality and I’m well aware of the strengths and weakness to this trait.
This is why I tripped up and almost spilled my English Breakfast morning tea as I read, a verse in the Beatitudes section of the Sermon on The Mount:
Jesus says: Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.
MEEK! meek? Oh I am far from meek. Surly this verse doesn’t apply to me, right? Meek describes those quiet, shy, wallflower types. What am I supposed to do with this verse?
For those of you with TYPE A, demonstrative personalities like me, chew on this definition of the word meek:
Gentle — Those who do not assert themselves over others to further their own agenda in their own strength, but will “inherit the earth” because they trust in God to direct the outcome of event. (Taken from the English Standard Study Bible notes for Matthew 5:5)
This hit a chord with me this morning as I admit that I tend to assert myself over others from time to time. Oh, and I will confess that I also take the reigns in situations to “further my own agenda.” {ahem} In a nutshell, meekness/gentleness is something I need to work on. Turning to Matthew 11:29, I am reminded that Jesus is the perfect example of the definition meek/gentle:
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:29
If I am living by Christ’s example I am to embrace the strong personality that He blessed me with at birth while tweaking it a bit to make room for more gentleness and meekness.
So here is what I’ve prayerfully come up with:
~Gentleness means I am sensitive to the Holy Spirit and change my tone of voice when it teeters on the gruff or overpowering side.
~Gentleness means I lower the bar a bit and forgo the high expectations I place on others to meet standards in which I pridefully place in front of them.
~Gentleness means I halt my own agenda for a moment to consider the point of others.
~Gentleness means I recognize someone’s need for the rest and peace of Jesus and point them to Him out of simple love and care for their spiritual well being.
~Gentleness means I’m slow to speak and quick to listen. (tough one for those whose mouths never stop!)
There are countless ways I need to be more gentle…
Lord, I believe You gave me a personality trait of gentleness in the form of compassion and encouragement of others. But, I can also be pushy and demonstrative which needs to be tempered. Help me to be gentle in my communication with others; especially those who are hurting. Help me to not place unrealistic expectations on others and add an unnesscessary load on their shoulders, but rather guide them to Your easy and light yoke in which they will find rest. Soften my heart, Lord.
Are you a woman with a strong personality like me? How can you tweak it to be more gentle and meek?
I would love to hear your thoughts…
This one: ~Gentleness means I’m slow to speak and quick to listen. (tough one for those whose mouths never stop!)…..spoke to me. It’s funny because my friend sent me James 1:19 today and it is ALWAYS a verse I need to hear, even if I heard it 2 hours ago. While it is one of my favourites, it is the hardest for me to live out. I tend to be quick to speak and depending on the situation, even quicker to annoyance (not anger though, thank goodness). Thank you for this post. Very much needed!
LyTysha,
Good call on the James 1:19 verse-I hadn’t thought of that one yet! I’m right there with you girl on being quick to get annoyed. Thanks for sharing and giving me something to think about! :)
It’s funny because alot of my annoyance comes from my severe impatience. Yet, patience is one the fruits of the spirit discussed in Galatians. Definitely gives me something to think about, often.
LyTysha,
That is my problem, too! I have a patience deficiency (sp?)! Glad I’m not alone in this :)
I was JUST talking to a friend about this the other day! I once substitute taught for a lady who had scriptures about gentleness taped all over her classroom, hidden in little places where only she would see them. They were in her drawer, on her desk, behind the projector, on the inside of her notes….everywhere! It really stayed with me because she is such a gentle person, just one of those beautiful, quiet, sweet-hearted ladies that always seem to say something profound when she speaks. Seeing the sciptures made me question my own personality… I am a southern girl in the LEAST southern belle way possible. My family is crazy, loud, funny, and we have a BLAST, but reconciling that with gentleness…. well, you get the picture. I had to do some major soul searching and prayer about this one because I know God gave us individual personalities for a reason, and if He wanted us all to be exactly like the wonderful teacher I mentioned earlier, we would be! but, He also included multiple scriptures about gentleness for a reason. Finally, I brought the topic up to my dad, and he told me to just spend some time thinking about my grandma (if I’m not careful here, you will have an entire blog post about how spectacular my grandma is, so I will try to sum it up quickly: she was named Joy for a reason!) I didn’t have to think about her long before I understood why she was the answer to my question. My sweet, sweet grandma is one of the most hilarious, fun-loving people you will ever meet. She is strong and corageous when she needs to be, soft and nurturing with others, and humble at all times. She is funny, vibrant, and so full of life….and she has a gentle, Christ-like heart. I realized that is what God desires from us…. a gentle heart. I don’t have to change my obnoxiously loud laugh to be gentle, but I do have to (like you mentioned above) be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, be careful not to focus on my own agenda, and be slow to speak and quick to listen.
In other words, I can still have my strong personality (some may substitute ‘crazy’ for strong, but that’s okay with me), and be gentle. I just have to keep my heart, mouth, and intentions in check. :)
Sorry for the super long comment, but I just had this convo with a friend less than 72 hours ago, so it is fresh on my heart!
Thank you for the great post and, once again, your honesty! I just love your blog so much! I think this is something so many women with strong personalities struggle with, and it’s wonderful that you were willing to address it!
Brittany
PS.. I’ll admit, I’m still a little jealous of women like the teacher I mentioned earlier, those that are so naturally gentle, but I’m working on that as well! :) God has a plan and purpose for me and my…unique?….personality, too!
Brittany!
Such a great illustration of your grandmother and that picture helps me put it into perspective so thanks for sharing. PLEASE don’t tone down your laugh or change anything about your God given personality :) I think we are probably ALOT alike, girlfriend! Great minds…laughs…think alike.
I love the idea of taping verses of gentleness around. I do believe I will be doing that this week! :)
Is there anything too impossible for the Lord? The Lord can and will soften your spirit.
Wow! This was just awesome…and EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I confess, I had to giggle at the way you describe your personality. I too, have a tendency to be one powerful force for Jesus. ha! And yet, my dear Savior calls me to be gentle. It’s a good thing his mercies are new every morning, because this Faith Princess is one serious work in progress. Thanks for the laugh and the accountability. It left me with much to ponder and a smile in my heart.
Heather,
Thanks for stopping by. Glad to know I’m not alone in this personality type! :)
I also have a STRONG personality and tend to speak a lot more than I listen. Sometimes I don’t know if I have quiet friends or if I just don’t give them a chance to speak. It seems that I am always the leader of whatever we do or wherever we go. I don’t mean to be this way, it just seems to happen. I would love to be more gentle and listen more. there’s lots of times that I just need to keep my mouth shut, but I just can’t. I pray this prayer first thing every morning: May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight O Lord. And I really mean it. However, I’m sure Jesus would like for me to just calm down sometimes. I guess my son “hit the nail on the head” the other day. I had voiced my opinion on something and he told me “Mom you set your standards way too high and are too demanding on things that are really not that important”. He’s right you know. Sometimes we need to listen!
Well this definitely speaks to me. Many years ago I really struggled with the whole gentleness thing. I thought it meant I had to be someone different. I needed to be more soft-spoken, quiet and reserved. But that really isn’t me. So over the course of several years I learned to not only accept who I am but to also remember that the Holy Spirit can empower me to be gentle in the right ways…you described so many of those ways so perfectly. Great post!
I think that every personality type can learn something from this post. I don’t nearly as much as I used to growing up, but I still do some(or maybe all lol) of the things that you are talking about here. Sometimes you just want to be right and sometimes you want others to see it too. I am learning just as you are learning. Thank you for letting me know that I am not the only one that struggles with this.
Ro…girl…not alone. :)
I may not have a type A personality, but this post still spoke to me! I’m the classic quiet, shy, wallflower type Lol. And lately I’ve come upon a situation on my job that seems to make me being such a reserved person an issue. All week I’ve been feeling as if maybe I’m not as personable as I thought, or as approachable that I thought. With me being young and technically in my first “real job” its really easy to get discouraged. But today I’ve been lead to 1 Peter 3, Matt 11:28, and this post, and I’m certainly learning how to seek the word for answers and encouragement.
Great Scripture. Thanks for sharing, Meg!
Great devo, Sarah! One thing I pray is that God would give me wisdom and discernment on how to respond to the people I meet during the day.