A page in my journal: A plea

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Every now and again I will share bits of the words scribbled in my journal. These are unedited, raw and personal thoughts that I share in hopes that someone, who might feel the same way, will find encouragement. I started my journal time reflecting on Psalm 145:7 which is the prominent inspiration for my book Just RISE UP! Something about the phrase “pour forth your fame…” elicits a visual picture of God’s glory…His fame. I am constantly begging God to let me experience just that.

They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness. (Psalm 145:7 ESV)

A page in my journal…

A page in my journal

Lord, I have seen Your fame and Your goodness in my world around me. I want to encounter You today…everyday. I know your glory is all around and that it is a matter of me clearing away all that distracts and detracts me from experiencing who You are. Oh how I know that living my life for You is more than an experience! So, I will stand on Your truth and Your Word. Experience and interaction with Your Word go hand in hand. I know that. But, today I beg you just as Moses did…

Show me your GLORY! (Exodus 33:18)

I sit here today with my pen in hand, my Bible in lap boldly asking you that as well. I remember how Moses also declared that if Your presence did not go with them, they will stay put. (Exodus 33:15). There are so many days where all I want to do is go my way. Today, I declare that I will stay put until You say GO. Show me Your glory on YOUR terms, God. And I will release my preconceived notions of what and how I think you should work in my life and the world around.

~I see your glory as I sit with a friend on her couch and comfort her during her darkest hour. I am at a loss. I feel inadequate. I see, though, Your glory as she lights up with hope and joy as she whispers your Holy name, Jesus!

~I see your glory as I sit tired at the end of the day as the evening sun hits my wildflowers. They sparkle with vibrant pink and orange hues. You are so creative, God!

~I see your glory when I stand before the vast ocean and I am reminded how small I am. I know I’m not insignificant but this reminder is a good thing. For when I humble myself, when I decrease, I am in a better position to worship You in all of your awesome, vast, BIG power.

Lord, I know I started this journal page with a prayer asking to see You. I chuckle as I see how You already came through and brought to mind how I already, very regularly see Your glory. I see your fame.

It has been right there, Your glory, Your beauty, Your goodness, Your mercy, Your forgiveness, Your provision…

it was right there the whole time.
photo credit: Walt Stoneburner via photopin cc

Lavish

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soul-care

Lavish…now that is a word that sits well on my soul. Does it cause your heart to swirl with possibilities? Does it peek your mind’s interest as to what could possibly happen if you were to lavish your Jesus? Does your soul long to be lavished?

Lavish…

Verb. bestow something in generous or extravagant quantities upon.

synonyms: give freely to, spend generously on, bestow on, heap on, shower with

Mary defined the word lavish when she…

“took a pound of fine ointment, pure nard (which is both rare and expensive), and anointed Jesus’ feet with it; and then she wiped them with her hair. As the pleasant fragrance of this extravagant ointment filled the entire house…” John 12:3 The Voice

This wasn’t just some cheap perfume from behind the drugstore counter. That would have been easy. To pour out this fine ointment cost much –– a year’s wages. Money is precious no matter what culture or day and age. No, this wasn’t the cheap version, it was pure. Perhaps a reflection of Mary’s heart as she lavished Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair?

An act of devotion

An act of gratitude

An act of humility

When Judas attempts to put her down for lavishing, Jesus affirms Mary.

“Leave her alone. She has observed this custom in anticipation of the day of My burial. 8 The poor are ever present, but I will be leaving.” John 12:7

We don’t know if Mary fully understood the significance of her lavish display of devotion. What we do know is that this woman set aside social norms, financial comfort, and pride to physically show Jesus that He is deserving. All Mary desired to do at that moment was honor her King.

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I’m searching my heart today to see if I am as willing to lavish Jesus, to pour out my devotion, to offer Him my pure heart and soul.

What would that look like?

Stepping out of my comfort zone…no…jumping out of my comfort zone to lavish Him.

Expressing with the depths of my soul who I know He is…then truly believing Him…lavish.

Opening my hand and pouring out what the world deems as valuable so my hands are open to accept the intangible that my Jesus is so willing to lavish up me.

Ponder. Saturate your soul with His Truth. Fill your mind with adjectives that lavishly describe His nature. Live with open-ness to His goodness. Serve and love the unlovable because He loves them.

Let us lavish with our life.

Let us lavish with our words.

Let us lavish for these acts are oh so good for the soul.

(photo credit: kennysarmy via photopin cc)

Soul Care: Wildflowers and Weeds

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soul-care

 

With a bag full of wildflower seeds and pots filled with fresh soil I sprinkled and patted down the prickly seeds left over from my father-in-law’s beautiful wildflower garden that captured my heart last fall. As I watered the pots for the first time I embraced the irony that I was in fact, planting wild flowers in pots. But I didn’t care. Irony aside I looked forward to the buds and blooms and the symbolism of this little gardening project.

You see, these wildflowers were a gift from God who was and is tending to my soul. These wildflowers were meant to help me focus and keep my head down. For months before, Jesus told me to keep my head down and focus on Him alone. I was not to cook up new projects or pop my head around Facebook to see what everyone else was up to. Keeping my head down and smelling the wildflowers was just what my soul desired, craved, to deter me from wanting what others had. The proverbial “grass” would be just green enough on my side of the fence…with in these pots of wildflowers.

I waited.

Several months.

The stubborn sprouts took longer to grow and bud and bloom than I expected. You KNOW I celbrated the first bloom with exuberance…I even had to Instagram about it!

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Not much longer I had pots full of colorful little blooms of pink and purple and orange. Celebration! You should see the care I give these wildflowers. But, I began to notice irregularities. Were these weeds among my precious blooms? How could I tell? I’m not an expert! Honestly, I don’t even know the names of these flowers as I just picked seeds that looked pretty. Were these new green stems part of my wildflower collect? Who knows?

Weeds!

Do I pick them? Would it disrupt things? So many questions!

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Because I know this gardening project sent straight from heaven was meant to teach me something, I contemplated these weeds beyond the picking and pruning.

What are the weeds in my soul?

Do I even know what they look like?

Can I distinguish what is thriving in the depths of my being and what needs to be picked and pruned?

What is thriving is my desire to seek out Jesus alone. To abide in Him and to focus on His glory and not my own agenda. These pots of gorgeous pink and purple and orange represent how far God and I have come as I have diligently kept my head down and allowed His hand to move me forward. But, was I missing out on going deeper with Jesus because of my weeds…my sin…my ugly?

I think of the woman at the well in John 4. After a conversation with Jesus in the heat of the day at the well where she came often shamed by her towns people, the woman left her jar of water to tell everyone…

“Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” John 4:29

Jesus knew her weeds. He called her out in her sin. For a woman with many men but no “husband” she was accustomed to judgement and condemnation. But this man was different. He knew her weeds but there was love in His knowledge. That sting of judgement was no where to be found this day at the well. She came for water. He offered her more than that which would satisfy her dry mouth. This man…this Jesus (The Christ!) offered water to nourish her soul…

“Drink this water, and your thirst is quenched only for a moment. You must return to this well again and again.  I offer water that will become a wellspring within you that gives life throughout eternity. You will never be thirsty again.” John 4:13-14

This declaration, this offer straight from The Bread of Life, The Word, promises much. Our souls, the part of us that craves something…is thirsty. Jesus claims He is the one who will quench our thirst for eternity. I love the woman’s response. She doesn’t quite understand what The Lord means here. Or does she? In desperation she begs Him to give her this water so she might not have to make this shame filled trek to the well where everyone knows her and her “weeds.”

Do I quite understand the implications of this water of life for my soul? Am I willing to expose my weeds so as not to let them over run what is good and thriving with in me? Am I willing to examine and take a hard look?

So many questions to ask here. Trusting the process I move forward to pick and prune. I move forward to make the hard choices to change my behavior, to say “sorry”, to do things differently to rid my wildflowers of the weeds. My soul will benefit. He receives the glory! These wildflowers in my heart are just for You Jesus!

Read more of the Soul Care series HERE.