LIVE IT OUT! — Sarah Francis Martin

Ok, so I know that HATE is a strong word to use. Maybe dislike would be a better, softer choice of words? Nope. I honestly, truly, sincerely HATE taking pictures of myself.

Now, before I start sounding like I’m fishing for compliments here, please know that I’m sharing this out of my own need to work through my weird, self focused issues of photographing my own mug. Any day of the week I will snap a quick pick of my stinkin’ cute 5 year old son as he makes goofy faces. He sure does  know how to make goofy faces in front of the camera…silly boy. Any other day of the week I love instagramming (@sarahfmartin by the way) the beauty I see in life around me. But, this day, this week in which I had a photoshoot, I am trembling at the thought of peeking at the pics my wonderfully talented photographer shot.

Just to give you some context. Yes, even though I HATE doing them, photo shoots are a necessary part of life these days, right? In a world of social media and in my ministry world of writing books, people need to visually relate to who I am. Therefore I’ve stressed for weeks about it. I worried if the outfit I chose would add to the obligatory 10 pounds those in the film biz always talk about. I worked out like a mad woman to make sure my heiney was at least a little bit smaller. I meticulously planned my hair appointment and the following time under the blow dryer all to ensure sleek and frizz free hair  for the big day.

Yet…I can not bring myself to even take a peek at the pictures.

But alas, I must practice what I preach about body image…yes…I’m a hypocrite…I will admit it. The hardest chapter I’ve ever written (found in my book Stress Point) I spilled the beans about my personal struggles with eating disorders and body image. So, friends…I’m going to take my own advice here…

GET OVER YOURSELF, Sarah!

Ok, I hear you Lord!

In a season Thanksgiving, I’m going to be strong and be grateful.

~Instead of obsessing over the extra 10 (or more!) pounds that I see in my photo or in the mirror I’m going to THANK my Lord for giving me a healthy body in which I can sweat and work out hard to keep up that good health.

~Instead of picking apart how my arms look fat or my cheeks look full, I’m going to PRAISE my Lord for His the creativity and care He took in creating my body.

~Instead of photoshopping the laugh lines and smile wrinkles, I’m going to embrace them with GRATITUDE that I have joy in my heart…so many years of laughter and smiles to create those extra textures on my face.

So that’s it friends. The real and the raw about my issues. I’m off to check out the pics from my photoshoot. With a beating heart, and tons of prayer of course! Thank you for being my sounding board. Hugs!

Any thoughts on gratitude and body image? (I know…that pair of words is kind of odd, right?)

Leave a comment. Let’s chat!

 

The other day I posted this on Facebook:

 

I’ve come to a realization. Too many things stress me out. I say that too much in my life these days…that activity (a. b. c.) makes me nervous…that person (x.y.z) stresses me out. I can’t handle the pressure of… Whoa…Hmmm…gonna pray over this.

 

Even writing this in public and hitting “post” unnerved me as I have prided myself forever that I’m a “strong woman,” not much phases me and I handle drama and stress with balance and class. This has not been the case over let’s say, six months.

I feel raw.

I feel fragile.

I feel like I have a burn wound that must sit uncovered and RAW so as to best  heal. (Is that analogy even medically correct? Who knows? You get my point, right?)

As I evaluated the confession I made yesterday on Facebook, I prayed and tried to get to the bottom of what is going on. Why I have this raw, fragile space in my heart that effects so many areas of my life.

Have you ever felt raw?

Have you ever felt fragile?

Have you ever felt that your heart is so tender that even the slightest twist and turn in life throws you off balance? So tender that your heart feels like a precious piece of china to be handled with utmost care?

There could be many reasons for this raw, fragile state we are in. I’m inclined to blame hormones (really!) but I’ve been there, done that and this is not the same. If I’m totally honest with myself (I have no trouble spilling my guts with you, but getting honest–really honest–with myself is tough) I’m fragile because this past season of writing and meeting my manuscript deadline did a number on me like no other.  It was emotional. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I feel exposed. I feel raw.

Have you taken time to pray through your fragile, raw state?

Let’s not let this season of RAW pass by in vain. What is it that God can teach us? What does He have for us as we live in the tenderness of heart?

Are we open to living in the raw with the knowledge that in the pain, in the fragile state is something to be uncovered…exposed?

I’m still waiting on God to show me exactly what I need to learn. But, I’m going to embrace it…whatever it is…good or bad. Part of me is afraid of what this state of exposure will, in fact, expose in which Jesus can best refine.

You can bet I will report back soon on this, but in the meantime I would love to know your thoughts…

Leave a comment…let’s chat!