Have you ever felt alone or that you stick out from the crowd? Have you ever felt alone because you are the only one around who loves the Lord? Today’s post is for you. Meet my sweet friend Everly. She has a word for each of us about the importance of clinging to the family and community of God.
They call it a family, this group of Christ-followers. “The family of God.” It sounds like some holy, happy reunion. And it is! It’s just a glimpse of heaven, but it’s truly good. A holy family accepts our ups and downs, our bumps and bruises, our ugly beauty. A holy family bands together and walks toward eternity, link-armed, with fervor. But sometimes, in this giant, joyful bunch, I feel completely and entirely alone.
I know I haven’t been kicked out of Christianity or booted from the brood. I know I’ll always have a place in this swirling world and a network of like-mindedness in the souls of fellow followers, but this walk to heaven comes with many dark valleys and one of them is loneliness.
Scripture tells us not to conform to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing work of the Spirit. If we do not conform, we are inevitably misfits. God’s kingdom is often called “the upside-down kingdom” because it’s the stark opposite of how this earthly kingdom (run by The Enemy) functions. It just doesn’t make sense from the outside, so the believers become the weirdos.
Now that we’re weird and dedicated to following a God we cannot see, and living our lives in a way that seems completely absurd to the rest of the population, we’ve set ourselves up to be lonely. Lonely for the world. Lonely for earthly things and the friends we had before we realized the life isn’t about me, but about Jesus.
When God created man, He immediately said that is not good for us to be alone, so He created a friend from a rib and they had the best, most faithful marriage in history…for a time. But the snake slithered into the garden and he works like a crowbar.
He pried the happy couple away from God and apart from each other. I believe Eve gave Adam the fruit because she didn’t want to be alone in her sin and Adam did not protest. Without “the other woman” ever being created, their marriage had been defiled, along with the rest of their lives. They were suddenly ashamed of their bodies and filled with fear of a God they had always loved and trusted before.
With sin in the garden, this world became a place unworthy of saints. This world became a place where we work for a stent while we hope and hope and hope for someplace better. If you are a follower of Jesus, you are an alien. You are misplaced.
We are promised persecution in this life and part of this is going to be in the form of losing friends. This can be such a trial, but one always pulls us a little tighter into the embrace of the Father. If we are willing to give up the earthly comfort of friendship in order to honor our God, He says “well done” to His good and faithful servant.
In my life, the phases of loneliness have waxed and waned. Sometimes I feel like I can’t find another living soul who believes what I believe or who lets that affect their life. This can be so discouraging! But then, before the sun sets on my lonely lot, God always brings someone to refresh me.
You may be the only Christian in your dorm or at your office or even in your family, but if you are part of the family of God, you are never alone.
Your dad says he will never leave you or forsake you. That means ever. He’s at the beginning and the end of the story.
And in the middle? In the place you are right this moment? When you’re laughed at, lonely, looking in the mirror and wondering why relationships seem to run from you like oil from water? They are there. We are there. I am here, for you.
Your “brothers and sisters” may seem to be undercover, but it’s possible to find them, and it will be worth it when you do. Even if you have to knock on every chapel, overturn every rock, join every Facebook group or walk up to a complete stranger, you will find them.
This road may be narrow, but there is room enough to walk together. We were never meant to arrive at the end of the race alone. This is not a competition. And can I let you in on a little secret? There’s no such thing as an independent Christian. To follow Christ means to realize that we stink at living this life and need new management. And we need you too.
Welcome to the family.
Everly Pleasant is a 20-nothing with a heart for encouraging her own generation in the Lord. She is a homeschool graduate who lives with her family at a place called Eyrie Park where she makes messes in the kitchen, reads as time allows and blogs at everlypleasant.com
