How To NOT Be Awkward

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Did that title catch your attention? Well, I just have to say I’m being snarky. I actually don’t know how to NOT be awkward but I’m starting to learn how to well…cope…with the awkward. More on that in a bit.

{So many of you have been super kind and encouraging in my prelude to the big move from North Carolina to Texas. I wanted to take a post to give an update on what’s transpired and what I’ve learned so far.}

Monday morning. A day to prep and pack for a month of living in temporary housing. A day to get my thoughts together, pack and then pair down again everything we need for a month’s worth of doing life in a new town. Not much would fit in our car. Yes…I know…#firstworldproblems here. I get that.

The door bell rings and on our porch stands a small army of sweet women ready to pack our house. Top to bottom. A day early. Unexpected. Unplanned for. I panic as my mind rushes to the hopeful showing on our house to sell IN AN HOUR.  In a matter of minutes, my show-ready house (spic and span I tell you) turned upside down with boxes, paper, tape and one wild women (me!) rushing to gather said things for the next month for fear they would end up in boxes in a matter of minutes.

Things settle down and the Lord blessed us with a smooth packing/movers experience. Our little family squeezed tight into the SUV. We made sure to pack our bathing suits (moving to Texas means tons of pool time) and you better believe that ALL my most treasured art supplies found a special spot in the car. Maybe at the expense of some toys for my 7 year old? Don’t judge. He’s fine. :) The trek across country proved smooth and uneventful which is a good thing for sure.

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We made it to Aggieland in three days. This is the town that stole my heart more than 15 years ago. It’s the town I studied (just a bit), played hard, found “myself”, cheered at football games, played hard (not gonna lie), graduated from, and most importantly…met the love of my life. It is good to be back here. It makes my heart smile to share memories with my son from the glory days. He thinks college sounds fun because you can eat lunch whenever you like and eat whatever you like. I had to smirk a little and refrained from explaining to him the Freshman 15 Phenomenon. The things that stick out in the mind of a 7 year old… We can’t wait for all the students to come back and for Aggie football to commence.

I wrote HERE about the identity crisis and my fears of being the new girl again. I haven’t been the new girl in years. The thought made me shudder. I’m usually one for the adventure of newness, but this did me in. God is so good. So good. Honestly, I felt funny taking such an insecure prayer to Him about friendships. But, as I type this, I’m reassured once again that we can be confident to take anything and everything––even prayers of awkwardness––to the Throne. Hebrews 4:16 is the truth I stand on in this moment.

Through connecting with old friends and meeting new friends from the churches we’ve been visiting, God has whispered to my heart that prayers were heard and held in His hands with care. Our hearts are in His hands. He delicately showers with grace from friends that want my son to come to playdates. Yes, the prayers of friendship are for the entire family and He has come through. Yes, we are still meeting and exploring and getting to know. In the meantime, our sweet family has cherished the welcome to Texas so freely poured upon us.

So here’s my advice on how to NOT be awkward. It stems from several new friend introductions where I babbled and stumbled my words and said dumb things in a moment of insecurity. You know those moments where you feel all gangling and unsure like the middle school years? That was me. Tongue tied and just weird. You know, those moments where you replay conversations back in your head like an old cassette tape? Maybe I’m the only one that does that…that tortures myself like that.

As I sat with the Lord and chatted about these moments of awkward, He sweetly spoke to my heart that it is ok to be awkward. And I’m going to hang on to this. Because here’s the deal, other people feel awkward, too. Usually we are so focused on our own weirdness and insecurity we can hardly notice others and their own. Right? So I find solace in that fact: we all have our own issues with what other’s may or may not think of us. And maybe, just maybe, our awkward might disarm someone else and allow for freedom to just be. Just be and just say and just smile and just get to know someone with out expectations of perfection. There’s ministry in that I’m sure of it.

So that’s where I am right this moment. I will write more on the friendship thing soon. In the meantime check out my friend Lara Casey’s amazing summer series called Fruitful Summer. It’s all about cultivating intentional relationships.

Lara Casey Fruitful Summer

 

I hope your summer is going well! Keep approaching the throne of Grace with Your Jesus. He is WORTHY. He IS GOOD. He is full of Grace and Mercy and it is there for the taking. (Hebrews 4:16)

How To Survive Bathing Suit Season

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So here’s the deal. I’ve memorized all the Scriptures that tell us we are beautifully and wonderfully made. (God’s Truth is legit, yes!) I’ve agonized with God over body insecurities. I’ve done the whole 30-days-to-a-beach-body routine and failed. This year something. must. change.

Something.

The best conclusion I’ve come up with on how to survive the bathing suit season is this:

Change the atmosphere. Create a culture that celebrates God’s creation. Draw confidence from His beauty rather than our preconceived, unattainable notions of what beauty is or should be. Steer the attention away from insecurities and point it back to Jesus.

Let’s not miss it. Let’s not leave memories on the table because we were too bound up by our body junk to enjoy, really delight in the dog days of summer. Create a culture that celebrates God’s creation. Change the atmosphere.

Bathing suit season

You see, we have the opportunity to bring to the pool, beach, lake, river, park…the representation of God Himself. The Spirit in us is bigger than the bumps of cellulite or the extra 10 pounds in which winter left in it’s wake. Summer is here and His beauty abounds. We were created to enjoy and delight NOT cower and hide away.

The waves call our name.

The sun sparkles.

The lightning bugs chirp.

The juicy watermelon overflows.

All to HIS glory.

So why should we slap our Lord in the face by trashing His creation with ugly thoughts and words about our body–HIS CREATION?

I propose that we bless others by creating a culture of celebration as we gather ’round the pool or layout at the beach. Don’t you know the gal right next to you has her own issues? Don’t you know that Jesus speaks through YOU straight to her heart when we cultivate an atmosphere of lifting up? For when we redirect the conversation, insert Truth in our pool side convos, encourage and affirm, HE IS GLORIFIED.

The practicalities of surviving the bathing suit season:

Cover yourself in prayer. Simply put. Ask God to push out your grumblings of body fat or imperfections with revelations of His grandeur. His grandeur fills the atmosphere. Pray, pray and pray some more, friends.

When we dwell on Him more than ourselves we see ourselves in a new light–His glorious light. Let God speak to those places in your heart that struggle and agonize. He takes great care in showing how He loves and adores us. The evidence is all around when we lived entangled in His presence, beauty, love rather than self focus.

So let’s not just survive the bathing suit season.

Let’s live a summer season of delight.

Leave a comment…let’s chat and lift each other up.

What To Do During An Identity Crisis

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I never thought that in my mid-thirties I would have an identity crisis. You know, those times where the “who am I?” question leads you down roads of irrational thoughts of identity and awkwardness? Ok, maybe it’s just me here. Or maybe I’m not alone.

I always tell my sweet 20-something friends that this 20’s decade is weird, transitional, that they would get things figured out and not to fear the thirties. Which is true. But, I’m noticing a trend that it’s really not an age thing in regards to the identity crisis. It’s somewhat seasonal––where life has you––and the crisis of sorts can come anytime we are knocked off our norm and our routine and forced to evaluate what we are all about.

As I puttered around my house on Saturday, hoping that someone would come and love this house as we have for 10 years now, the thoughts of transition and starting over threatened to throw me in this thing I call “figuring out what I’m all about.” Honestly, what started it was the thought of how I would go about making new friends.

Would they get me?

They don’t even know me?

They don’t know what I’m about. Am I even sure what I’m about?

I’m tempted to write off these questions as silly and self centered. They are a bit. That’s ok, I’m going to roll with it. In fact, I did roll with it. I talked to God about it and we decided that I must stop fretting.

When we live entangled in the presence of God, that essence of who we are naturally bubbles to the surface. Entangled. That’s a new word in which I’m associating with abiding––as in John 15 abiding. No, not trying to override the word so prevalent in Scripture. I’m reverent to the word, abide. The word entangled takes the image to a rich level where I see myself, my thoughts, my heart, even my family, caught up in seeking after Jesus. We are so entangled that every thought, every word spoken, every activity serves as worship and in obedience to God Himself. We entangle ourselves in Jesus that if we were to ever unravel our self…that very self would lose all meaning, hope, purpose, passion. Life entangled…might be a new book in the works…

Yes, who we are bubbles up as the fruit (which harvests from abiding in Christ) makes our personal quirks taste sweet, our God-given gifts more juicy, our qualities and characteristics more colorful. No identity crisis sustains when we allow God Himself to override the question of “who am I?” with:

I AM the Great I AM. (Exodus 3:14)

Let’s  negate the questions we ponder about self and entangle our identity in the One who is worthy of our focus–not self focus.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. (John 15:4)

In this entangled relationship with Jesus, are we wiling to allow some sifting and shifting? His Spirit highlights the unfruitfulness––those areas in need of repentance. This makes me squeamish. Might I daily remember that God looks past those ugly parts of my heart (where repentance is mandatory!)as He draws out goodness instead.

Identity Crisis

For when we draw near to Him, He draws near to us and thus draws OUT every good and beautiful quality so that we point back to HIS ultimate goodness and beauty and majesty and power and mercy and…and… and… That is the true identity crisis: when we resist this drawing out. We resist who God formed us to be.

So really, it is not about “finding ourselves” (in whatever decade of life we find ourselves in). It’s about finding the open arms of Jesus and resting in who He IS. The Great I Am. The act of finding won’t take long for He is ever present regardless of our acknowledgement.

Oh let our heart cry out that we need everything of who He is to live comfortable in our own skin.

No identity crises necessary.

Leave a comment…let’s chat!