LIVE IT OUT! — Sarah Francis Martin

Hey everyone! Welcome to the Week 9 Stress Point online study Girlfriend Interview.

 

Meet my friend Tracie Miles. Tracie is one of those girls who’s calm and composed demeanor rubs off on you and those around her benefit from her chill nature. She is so sweet to share her advice for us this week. Be sure to read all the way to the bottom for info on Tracie’s upcoming book Stressed-Less Living.

 

 

~Many young adults in their 20s have a desire to make a difference in the world but just don’t know where to start. What did this look like for you during your 20s? Did this concept stress you out at all?

I entered into college very unsure about what I wanted to do with my life, and when I graduated from college at the age of 22, I was still very unsure! Shortly after graduating, I got married and took a part time job with a career path to nowhere. But as a result of mistakes I had made as a teenager, I felt unforgiveable and unusable by God – as if He couldn’t possibly love someone like me. That belief caused me internal and emotional stress so I succumbed to the lie that I had no real future. You see, as feelings of insecurity, shame and worthlessness haunted my heart, they prevented me from having a strong relationship with God. Marriage, work and financial challenges were stressful, and I was so distracted by everyday issues that I was not focused on making a difference in the world – until I had my first child at the age of 27. When she was born, it was as if God said “See Tracie, I love you enough to bless you and I do have plans for you, won’t you believe me?” I knew I wanted to make a difference in her life, and to do that, I needed to make some changes. Over a period of time, my heart was softened, and I allowed God to make me whole again. As my faith grew, I discovered that God does have a unique purpose for each of us. In my late twenties, I began to get excited about my future, and less stressed about my past, and trusted God to show me what He had planned for me, without stressing over it!

~In chapter 9 of Stress Point we cover making a difference in our own back yard. That is, finding ways to serve God with in our own community and church. Do you have any advice on how to get started in this endeavor?

I think as a 20-something, it’s often hard to get plugged into a church or community because we feel like we can’t really make a difference because we are young. We assume that everyone else is more experienced, we are inadequate, and that nobody really needs what we have to offer anyway. Or we just don’t want to step on anyone’s toes or come across as too aggressive. In my opinion, the most important first step to getting involved in anything, is to first realize our value in Christ, focus on our faith, and embrace the talents and uniqueness that He created in us, which builds self confidence. Once we truly understand how valuable we are to Christ, we will pray for Him to direct our steps, and open doors where we can serve. Then when we feel pulled in a certain direction, or feel so passionate about something that we can’t shake the desire to get involved, we will have the confidence and desire to trust God and take a leap of faith. We have to learn to let faith drive our actions, instead of allowing our insecurities to keep us inactive.

~What is ONE thing you wish you knew about serving others and serving God when you were a 20something?

I wish I had made my faith a priority in my twenties, which would have prevented a lot of unnecessary stress in my life. Had I known how fulfilling it would be to serve God, and how great it feels to know that you have made a difference in someone’s life, I would have done it a lot sooner! I spent a lot of years seeking worth in my career path, until God showed me that I would never be fulfilled by that. When I quit my corporate job to serve in ministry, my stress level dropped dramatically – not because I had left a stressful job, but because I was following God’s path for me; I discovered that when we are following our heart, and making a difference in the way God equipped us to, that our peace and joy outweigh the challenges and stressors we may face – no matter what age we are.

 

Isn’t Tracie awesome!! I love her advice and I can’t wait to hear what you think. Be sure to leave a comment.

 

Also!! Check out Tracie’s book Stressed-Less Living: Finding God’s Peace In Your Chaotic World

 

Be sure to sign up for Tracie’s 10 Day Stress Detox HERE.

 

 

 

How are you all doing this week? Not much traffic on the comments this week…wondering if you all are having Summer Blues. Life does get in the way sometimes so just know that the Stress Point study will be here when you have a chance to check in again.

Topic: Out on Your Own. A scary though if you are a 20something trying to figure out how to launch out into the real world as an adult.

For this week’s Stress Point online study Girlfriend Interview I’m excited to introduce you to my friend, Van Walton. Van is one awesomely spunky lady who invites you into your life with zeal and fun. I had the chance to stay at her house before the She Speaks conference and this lady is one gracious hostess. Very inspiring. Here’s some great advice that Van has to offer us today.

 

 

 

~Van, can you tell us a bit about the first time you moved out on your own as a young adult? What challenges did you face?

 

I had graduated from college with a degree in education. Of course, finding a job ranked at the top of my to-do list. I dreamed of teaching in high school but my searching each day only left me empty handed. I needed to find work and with each day of pavement pounding (in the early 70’s job seekers literally walked (or drove) from one possible place of employment to another. I contacted many schools and talked with their principals to no avail.

My greatest challenge was the slow chipping away of my self confidence. I graduated from college believing I had the world by the tail. I walked away from the university with a diploma and a belief I was prepared to handle anything.

 

~What did your faith look like during this season of your life?

I have always thanked God that His gracious plan for me included placing me in a Christian home. I wish I could say that I absolutely took complete advantage of the amazing and marvelous resources my parents wrote on my heart and placed in my hands. Faith, prayer, daily devotions, were all common words and activities to me. I knew all about the Christian walk. Problem with me- it was so rote, so regular, so routine, I took my faith for granted. I had been taught of God’s generosity, His unceasing love, His constant care. I knew His word promised that He was always available to me.

Truth is my faith had really never been tested. I prided myself in being a strong Christian. What I didn’t know was that I was just a newbie at 22!

 Now, suddenly life was not going as planned! God had not given me a classroom. He was calling me to His classroom! Along with the discipline came the loss of confidence, maybe a bit of a chiseling away at my youthful arrogance and my proud independence.

 I needed someone else! I couldn’t get through this alone!

 I could have turned to my parents, but growing up in their house, I had been clearly taught that I was on my own after college! I could have turned to friends, but I had moved to a new town, and knew very few people. Anyway, I was too proud to share such a humbling fact: I was not good enough to land a job! I did attend church regularly, but the messages from the pulpit didn’t quite line up with or apply to my circumstances.

 Meanwhile, I lost more and more confidence. This young liberated and secure woman was becoming a hopeless, desperate, and lonely individual!

 

~ What is one piece of advice you would offer to my readers who are moving out on their own as young adult women?

Turn to God’s Word and ask Him for guidance through ALL circumstances. 

One day while unpacking my books I melted into a puddle of my own tears.

“Oh God!” I cried out loud.

I told him how lonely I was. I shared my fears, my hopelessness.

“I am desperate!”

Somehow God impressed upon me to pick up a Bible and read it. I could not. My possessions were in boxes. Why unpack if I might be moving on?

But, wait, I had begun to unpack some books so I reached out to a stack of books piled on the floor beside where I was sitting.

The book on the top of the pile- it was my Bible! Mind you I had not opened it, much less read it since my move. I took it as a sign to read it.

God lead me to 2 Corinthians 1: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the same comfort that we ourselves have received from God.”

This was an ‘ah ha’ moment. It became a spiritual marker for me, That day marked the beginning of many lessons God has taught me through the 40 years since He tenderly showed me how He would lead me through life.

I share this story for two reasons:

God permits difficult times in our lives to get our attention and begin the refining process. Remember His goal is to perfect us by conforming us to the image of His Son, Jesus.

God purposes difficulties so He can teach us and through those lessons call us to purposeful action. In my case God has used me to comfort others with the compassion He poured out on me.

I pray my stepping out experience has shed light on the long trail you might be traveling today.

 

Isn’t Van simply the coolest?! I can’t wait to hear what you think about her story and advice. Leave a comment and let’s continue the conversation…