When left up to my own devices, I’m one wretched chick I tell ya.
This past week I was sick in bed with the flu. Not cute. All I wanted to do was lay there and eat cookies (cause that’s the only thing I could stomach). I guess I felt like my Bible was too heavy and I didn’t have the strength to heft it up in my bed and crack it open. Boy am I feeling the effects now.
Every good, nice and beautiful thing about me is all because of Jesus.
I see that now. When left up to my own devices, my own thoughts, my own emotions I am grumpy and mean.
But thank goodness He is ready and willing to pour His love, mercy, grace, kindness, goodness and joy to fill in the gap where my heart is depleted…left up to my own devices.
Here’s where things turn around for me. Putting aside my own devices, I open up to the Holy Spirit. Yes, the very King of Kings has a place in my heart. I just have to clean out all the muck and junk in there to make room for more and more and more of Him.
Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? James 4:5 ESV
God desires to pour out Himself into our lives, our wretched hearts. An abundance of His presence awaits us. As it says in Scripture, every good gift is from above. For me, I might be tempted to wallow in my anger, frustration and grumpy thoughts because it feels more comfortable that way right in this moment. But I love what it says above, the Lord is jealous over our heart when we aren’t submitted to His Spirit. He sees what we are missing out on when we fail to let Him reign.
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6
You mean even though I’ve wallowed in wretch, He is waiting with more and more grace? Yes…but only if I’m willing to dump my pride, ask for forgiveness and place myself in a humble position to accept that grace.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:7-8
I’m wondering if you’ve ever felt too wretched, like I have, to even imagine that you could draw near to God. I’m wondering if you feel like you have too much to be sorry for, too much junk in your past, too much ugly in your heart to even be allowed in His presence. This promise above should knock out all of that intimidation.
Do you notice what comes first? God doesn’t tell us to clean ourselves up, put on a nice outfit and make ourselves presentable before we draw near to Him. NO! He declares that when we FIRST draw near to Him, with open arms He draws near to us. Our wretched hearts are no put-off to Him. It is then that we are washed and made new in His presence because Jesus makes us clean.
Today I’m soaking in this truth. I don’t want to be that wretched chick filled with not nice thoughts in my head and not cute feelings in my heart for I know who I am when Jesus fills me up. I know how He uses me in His grand plans to His glory when I am willing and open to His Spirit and His abundance of joy and love in my heart.
May we not miss out on that glory.
Let’s chat…leave a comment!
Glad to hear you are feeling better Sarah!! For me, even picking up a bible when i am crying and upset is difficult and usually dont do it.. like the other day… I was crying and upset and i called a friend and they asked have you spent time with Jesus and I said no….. yikes very humiliating!!
Girl…don’t feel humiliated. :) We all go through times where we neglect our Bible. It was my hope to encourage you to get back in the Word with out feeling guilty. Jesus is waiting with arms wide open. Hugs!
Oh wow…this went straight for my heart, you have no idea. I’ve been floating in & out of this very same “funk” as you described above, for, oh…a few weeks/months now?! Thank you for being transparent–but also that older-sister figure just a few steps farther down life, to look back, encourage us & point us to our sweet Jesus.
HUGS!
Wow! Simply amazing and exactly what I needed to hear. I get kind of intimidated with spending time with Jesus. I feel like there’s a method and I’m screwing it up. I feel overwhelmed because I don’t know where to start. I read books that point to scripture but I’m not sure if that’s enough. I feel like I’m just spending time reading a book and bit with the Lord. Any suggestions?
Hi Carrie!
I’m so glad you commented on this. I totally hear ya about the question of “where do I start??” A couple of things…It would be cool if you just started reading through the Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I would just start reading through them at your own pace, taking a chapter or even just a few paragraphs at a time. Grab a notebook and a pen and start writing out Bible verses that stand out to you. Also, write out your prayers. This keeps you engaged with the Scripture and helps focus. Also, a good study Bible with some commentary is great to have.
I also wanted to give you a link to a small series of video blogs I did on the book of James: https://liveitoutblog.com/category/video-bible-studies/video-bible-study-james/
One more thing: My book Stress Point is a great starting point as well. There’s alot of Bible study questions and journal space to get you in the habit of digging into your Bible. :)
I hope this helps. Please please please feel free to email me (Click contact Sarah above) if you have more questions!
Hugs!
Wow so good ! So encouraged thanks Sarah!