LIVE IT OUT! — Sarah Francis Martin

Welcome to Stress Point week 6: Friends and Family. Whew! This chapter could go on and on yet we just can’t cover it all. I hope that this will be a starting point for you as you navigate your 20’s and the new dynamic of adulthood surrounding friendship and family relationships.

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

The Real (Video Blog)

 

The Raw (Discussion Questions)

~Do you identify with any of the girlfriend case studies? If not exactly, how might the situations reflect, in part, on your own stress over friends and family?

~On page 128 of Stress Point I talk about R.E.S.P.E.C.T. when it comes to the dynamic of family. Now that we are adults, it is time for us to own our personal responsibility in your family drama. Are you tracking with me on this concept? If so, how can you alleviate family drama with respect of your parents?

~In discussing friendships, I brought up the topic of being a low-maintence friend. What are your thoughts on this? (See Stress Point page 138. Here’s how I define “low-maintenance friendships:”

A friend who seeks to love and cherish her girlfriends without adding any unnecessary pressure or expectations to the relationship. This type of friend is ready and willing to get in the trenches of life with us; she is full of encouragement and advice, yet she also gives us space if that’s what we need. If you desire to be this type of friend because you long for low-maintenance friends yourself, I propose you first place your focus on your Eternal King.

The Relevant (Bible Study Discussion Questions)

~On page 127 I introduce the name of God, Eternal King. He is our King that will be with us through thick and thin, through drama and stress–everlasting Father. What are your thoughts on how this characteristic of God relates to our topic of friends and family stress?

Flip to Journal 3 on page 136. I’ve listed several Scriptures that use the word everlasting or eternal in reference to God. (example: Hebrews 13:8) Take some time to write out for yourself how these verses speak to you regarding God as your Eternal King.

Share your thoughts on friendship drama, family drama and anything else that arises in your heart around this chapter of Stress Point!

 

Good Morning, friends! Is this week’s Stress Point topic: Intense Relationships…well…intense or what?! Hang in there…doing this together, right?! (I know I say that over and over again, but it is true!) You girls are teaching ME so much about faith and I’m learning and growing right there with you.

 

Meet my friend Amy Carroll. Amy is one of those friends that you smile when she enters the room. Her kind heart just radiates and you KNOW that she LOVES JESUS. Amy is so gracious to get vulnerable for us and share some life lessons she’s learned from heartache after an intense relationship. Click HERE to read a blog post she wrote for a friend that gives us some of her relationship background. Worth the read…go click over!

 

 

I asked Amy a few questions. Get ready girls…she shares some GREAT things to file away in your heart.

Amy, you’ve been very open and honest about a past broken romantic relationship. Can you share with us how that painful breakup changed you and brought you closer to Jesus?

On top of being a perfectionist, I led a very shelterd, heart-break-free life up until that point. Although God wired me to be tender-hearted, I still tended to see things as very black and white and with a fairly judgemental eye. I was compassionate to a degree, but I just couldn’t empathize with hurting people. Suffering with my own pain and sense of rejection gave me a new way of looking at the world and the people around me. I approached people’s hurt less with a problem-solving mindset and more with a heart to love them and join them in their place of pain. I started to see how to really live II Cor. 1:3-5, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”

I also had never experienced the compassion and comfort of God in such a powerful way in my own life as I did during that time of heart break. You read in my story that I expected His judgement and discipline but received an incredible outpouring of His love. That experience changed the warped way that I looked at God, and I’ll never get over the way He loved me.

This week we are talking about intense romantic relationships. Do you have any advice for those not in a relationship at the moment but desire to one day get married?

I think that the biggest thing I learned from the end of that intense relationship was that love truly is NOT enough. Stick with me. I promise that statement doesn’t come from cynicism. Although I loved my fiance with all my heart, there were some serious red flags that I ignored–never employed, catered to by his mama, a view of God that was very warped, unaddressed family disfunction…and those are some of the small ones. If I shared some of the big ones, I promise that your hair would catch on fire. God may place you with someone who is very different from you, but pay attention to make sure foundational necessities for a good marriage are there.

Make a list of your non-negotiables before you get into an intense relationship so that your heart doesn’t turn a blind eye to signs of disaster. I almost ship-wrecked my life because of my romantic “love overcomes all” attitude. All that may sound harsh, but I really want to encourage you to live happily single rather than settling for a potentially disasterous relationship.

What is one thing you would tell your 20-something self about serious romantic relationships in regards to preparing for the future?

You are the King’s daughter and worthy of a prince. He won’t be perfect (’cause you’re not perfect!), but he must love you and cherish you. Instead of constantly looking around, focus your eyes on Jesus and becoming all that He has for you in the here and now. He is trustworthy and will bring just the right man at just the right time. All the in-between preparation will not only contribute to a happier marriage but also to fulfilling your life calling.

 

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